Written by P.M. Wortham
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Thursday, 6 November 2008

image for Obama Names Oprah Ambassador to Afghanistan

In a surprise early announcement, President-Elect Barack Obama will choose Oprah Winfrey for his Ambassador to Afghanistan. Suggested in the press the night of the election where Oprah was featured on camera in the Chicago city park crowd, Winfrey was named as a likely candidate for such an appointment.

Winfrey appeared outwardly happy about the news, commenting to reporters about looking forward to the challenge of establishing formal diplomatic relations with "a bunch of cowardly terrorist wife beaters and child murderers", as Winfrey put it. Sources close to Winfrey tell reporters that she was actually less than excited about the news once hearing about her country assignment. "I think she was expecting France or Italy, you know, some place where the food was good", Selma Saddlebotom says. "Oprah asked for the chance to be an ambassador, but she never specified where".

Obama said in his press release that he was, "Excited about the energy and attitude Oprah could bring to this war-torn region" and that "her positive spirit will shine as a beacon to the leaders of Afghanistan". Saddlebotom replied, "She'll have energy and attitude all right, but only if she can find a Burger King Whopper over there, extra mayo of course".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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