Written by Chuck Terzella
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Saturday, 5 June 2004

Ronald Reagan, Grade B movie actor, television host and four time president of the Screen Actors Guild finally died Saturday at the age of 93. Mr. Reagan who had apparently been suffering from Alzheimer's for most of his life, given his actions and choice of movie rolls as well as his marriage to Nancy, picked today to die for reasons as yet unexplained.

It is unknown why news stations such as CNN seem to feel that the nation is mourning the passing of a crazy old actor, but it is speculated that the Bedtime for Bonzo stars anti-Communist actions during the McCarthy era has earned him a place in history. After hosting Death Valley Days on the small screen Mr. Reagan sank into obscurity and nothing was heard from him since.

He is survived by his wife Nancy who is still in contact with him through various seers and mediums, his daughter what's her name and probably other people as well.

President George W. Bush said that Reagan, "Laid to rest an era of division and self doubt" whatever the hell that means and a guy living next door to me said, "I think I'm gonna wash the car, it's such a nice day."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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