WASHINGTON - A deafening collective cheer was heard from Republicans across the nation today when President George Bush named beloved talk show host, Dr. Phil McGraw, as his VP replacement in the upcoming November election.
"Dr. Phil will make a perfect vice president," Bush told journalists during a special White House press conference. "Women adore him, men respect him and he's one of Oprah Winfrey's best friends."
When asked what other qualifications influenced the president's decision to choose Tell-It-Like-It-Is McGraw, Bush told reporters that "because Dr. Phil is a skilled brain surgeon, he'll be detrimental in executing my new national health care plan."
Dr. Phil, accompanied to the press conference by his wife, Robin, thanked the president for the opportunity to serve his country in such a positive manner.
"And be sure to tune in tomorrow when the president will be on my show to discuss his many problems with communication," said McGraw. "My dad used to say Boy, don't let your alligator mouth overload your hummingbird *ss" and I'm gonna get this across to old Georgie boy once and for all."