Written by Stefano M. Stefano
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Wednesday, 15 October 2008

image for Sarah Palin Reaches Out To United British Kingdom
Sarah Palin, flying the flag for Britain.

As poll numbers for the McCain/Palin Republican Presidential ticket head south faster than college kids on Spring Break, self-proclaimed hockey mom, Sarah Palin, has begun to reach out to other mothers in the hopes of bolstering support.

"The difference between a hockey mom and a pitbull is lipstick," Palin said (for the eighty-fourth time), "and the difference between a chess mom and a goldfish is a rook."

None of the press understood, so we just let Palin keep on talking in her annoying, whiney, fake-Southern accent voice.

"I've reached out to hockey moms and thanks to me there are 17 more people ready to vote Republican, so now I'm focusing on chess moms and computer-geek moms, telling them that I know what it's like to support nerds and outsiders. Not like mothers of kids in the school band, which is just too far out there for me, but little ones that like to move horsey and castle playing pieces back and forth and jumping over other rookies and thimball pieces. Or whatever the geeks call them. With my foreign affairs experience, I'm also courting the English vote."

When asked what that meant, Palin continued, "Well, as you know we have soccer in this country and I'm going to reach out to soccer moms after I finish watching 'Desperate Housewives' tonight, but did you know that soccer is called 'baseball' in the United British Kingdom? Funny how we already have a sport called baseball here in America and it's nothing like English baseball, but because I'm trying to get the soccer mom votes, I'm actually expanding my foreign affairs spectrum by watching soccer moms and their English games."

Several reporters heads exploded by after the Alaskan governor explained this convoluted piece of logic.

No word yet if any of them were soccer/baseball moms.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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