Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Friday, 3 October 2008

image for Arnold Schwarzenegger Wants $7 Billion
Nancy Pelosi's $13.1 Million Ranch House (Photo courtesy of Mrs. Manu Ginobili)

PETALUMA, California - Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has stated that California needs an emergency loan of $7 billion.

This has got some people asking questions then as to why the full bail-out package is set at $700 billion. Taking the full dollar amount and dividing it by 50 (states), one comes up with 14. So each one of the 50 states, including big gigantic states like Texas and Alaska, as well as little, itty, bitty states like Rhode Island and Connecticut will each receive $14 billion.

So Arnold's home state of California will not only receive the $7 billion it needs, it will also have $7 billion in escrow. So as one can clearly see, this bailout situation is not really as difficult a problem as a lot of our senators are making it out to be.

When House Speaker Nancy Pelosi was told about Gov. Schwarzenegger's request she stated, "I just got off the phone with Arnold, and as we speak, I am making arrangements to meet his $7 billion request.

"I will personally be delivering the $7 billion to the governor this weekend since I am going out to California to visit my husband and our five children anyway."

Pelosi then smiled and added, "But I do have a question for Gov. Schwarzenegger, and it's that I'm curiously wondering why it is that he so adamantly requested that he wants the $7 billion in unmarked twenties."

In other news, the Fox Network has said that is is currently working on a brand new reality show which it hopes to premier before Halloween. The show will star Paris Hilton and Sarah Bernhard and is titled, "Hips and Lips."

(There is a substantial penalty for early withdrawal)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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