Written by KendoMonkey
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Monday, 12 May 2003

image for Columbo fingers wrong man
?And to think I discovered America?

Famous American sleuth, Columbo, has been accused of fingering the wrong man for a murder that took place back in 1982.

James Royal, father of two, was accused of the murder of his wife, Claire Royal, in 1982, and was convicted in 1983. The man was sentenced to death by lethal injection, which took place in 1989.

However, recent evidence has come to light that suggests Columbo's evidence does not hold up to scutiny.

Further evidence suggests Columbo spent only 1 hour (including the odd 3-4 minute break) following James Royal, and asking him seemingly random questions before convicting him.

In the last five minutes of that hour, James' suspiciously happy floozy, Marianne, broke down and told Columbo that she had killed James' wife.

However, Columbo went on to say that she was only protecting James, and that he killed her.

Marianne Dogma, the girlfriend James Royal was seeing behind his wife's back, has since published numerous books, including:

  • "Columbo: Why he's so wrong"
  • "Why I killed the bitch"
  • "No, really, I did it you muppets"


Columbo has since traded in his dirty mac for a souwester and hook.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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