Written by Abel Rodriguez
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Thursday, 18 September 2008

image for Lindsay Lohan Engaged
A Rose in Lindsay's Bedroom

RANCHO CUCAMONGA, CALIFORNIA - Sources close to Samantha Ronson, 31, have stated that she and actress Lindsay Lohan, 22, are planning on getting married in the not-too-distant future.

A free-lance reporter asked Samantha who of the two would be assuming the 'girl' role. Samantha quickly replied, "Hey are you kidding me or what? I mean, like gosh, have you not seen Lindsay? I mean my goodness, on a 'girly' scale of 1 to 10, she's a '9' and me, well I'm a '1.5' and that's on a good day...so you do the math okay?"

In a related note, Left Coast based magazine, Gal-Gal Bi-Monthly has an article entitled, "The 100 Happiest Celebrity Lesbian Couples in The Lower 48." Rosie O'Donnell, 46, and her wife Kelli Carpenter, 41, came in at #17. Melissa Etheridge, 47, and her wife, Tammy Michaels, 33, came in at #11, and Ellen DeGeneres, 50, and her wife, Portia de Rossi, 35, came in at #1.

(WRITER'S NOTE: I would like to thank Gal-Gal Bi-Weekly for the 20 free tickets (which I will be giving away to friends, relatives, and neighbors soon) to Etheridge's current U.S. tour entitled, "Melissa Etheridge's The I May Not Have You-Know-What's Like Guys Do, But I Can Still Rock 'n' Roll Just Like The Big Boys Do Tour!." Also on the bill are 1960's nostalgic bands including, The Byrds, The Turtles, The Kinks, and The Who.)

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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