Written by Ed E. Druckman
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Thursday, 18 September 2008

image for After Sarah Palin Yahoo Hack, McCain's Gmail A "Snoozer"

(Washington, D.C.) What if they hacked into your e-mail and no one noticed? That's exactly what happened after the hacker group Anonymous broke into Republican Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin's Yahoo account. They also broke into Republican Presidential candidate John McCain's Gmail account.

The site which published "screen grabs" of Palin's Yahoo e-mail, had McCain's e-mails as well but judged "these are about as exciting as Stevie Wonder watching an apple turn brown" and choose to pass on publication. This was according to competitive web feces flinging web site, The Drudge Report.

A call to the website's offices from the Associated Press confirmed The Drudge Report statement. "Yes, John McCain's Gmail account was hacked," said the source speaking on the condition of anonymity. "And we were given those screen grabs as well. We choose to go with Palin's because if you think John McCain is a boring speaker then my advice to you would be don't read his e-mail before driving or operating heavy machinery." A follow-up question by the AP reporter asking if in fact this meant that the e-mail content was boring was answered with "boring would be a bit too manic. Catatonic would come close."

The McCain camp was quick to react to the statement, releasing their statement on the McCain web site, from campaign manager Rick Davis. "Senator McCain would first like to make absolutely clear that while he is extremely familiar with internet technology and has been for the last two years, after it was explained to him, he in no way advocates hacking. That said, the Senator takes offense that the content of his e-mails would be categorized in any way short of electric and, at times, high voltage." McCain addressed the issue at a campaign stop in Bud Lake, New Jersey. "To those in the media who would say that I'm a boring speaker, let me say this. You're talking to the future President. And it's time for a little straight talk."

The Obama campaign is also standing with McCain on the violation of privacy. Democratic Presidential candidate Barack Obama took time from a fund raising chat to address the issue. "A violation of a person's privacy is unacceptable in any instance. After all, who are we? Republicans? And while I can't comment on the riveting nature of my opponent's e-mails, I would read them; but I just can't risk any extra shut-eye during this final stretch. What deeply troubles me is reducing a world famous African American entertainer as a simile. Why doesn't the McCain camp express outrage over this?"

A follow-up question to Obama asking why he is not outraged over Palin's use of a private e-mail account for Alaskan government business was not answered. It was also not answered by McCain, who simply replied, "I'd tell you, but you'd probably be asleep by the time I finished my answer. Not so smart now, are you, Punk?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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