Written by Francine Fishpaw
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Saturday, 13 September 2008

image for Hurricane Ike pounds the Gulf Coast hard says witness
Hurricane Ike rams Gulf Coast hard - Tears up Coast.

Galveston, TX - Hurricane Ike pounded the Gulf Coast hard stated the only witness who stayed behind to see the incident. Tom Peepers, who works at the Galveston Pussy Cat Adult Theater said he saw the whole thing as he walked around the ruins of Hurricane Ike.

Peepers made it through the storm and recounted his harrowing experience to this reporter.

Peepers said, "I was actually standing over there on that hill when I saw it. I saw Hurricane Ike coming in. Ike was pulsating. His funnel was very long and very big. I never saw anything that huge and long in my life".

"Ike first moved in slowly and then started to pound the Gulf Coast. It first started off in a circular motion, banging everything around. Suddenly it started to go in and out, in and out, ramming the Coast and Ike was screaming and howling as Ike was picking up speed. It was the loudest howling I ever heard in my life".

"I mean, the Coast was getting all tore up as Ike kept ramming into it repeatedly as the Coast was getting all wet. It seemed like the pounding lasted forever as the Coast kept taking it. I couldn't believe how the Coast just kept getting pounded like that and how it could take all that Ike was giving it and I mean hard."

Peepers stopped for a while to light a cigarette and continued, "Then just has Ike came he suddenly left. After the Coast took all that pounding by Ike, he quickly pulled out howling and screaming and shot over the Coast making it all wet and leaving it all tore up and spread out, then Ike moved in ward towards the land."

"It will be something I will never forget", said Peepers, wiping the sweat off of his brow, and taking another drag of his cigarette.

After his harrowing account of Hurricane Ike, this reporter asked Mr. Peepers for a cigarette.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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