Written by Gulo_Gulo
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this
Topics: Sarah Palin, Hunting

Saturday, 13 September 2008

image for Palin's Abusive Wild Animal Record: Aerial Hunting?
Palin orders aerial hunting of wolves and bears, OH MY!.

According to the Wildlife International Members and Protectors Fund (WIMPF) of the "Wild Animals Can't be Killed Ollie" Society (WACKOS) their new television ad about Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin and her meany record on aerial hunting of wolves is fantastic!

WIMPF representatives said because of donations from more than 500 bleeding heart wildlife supporters, their television ad accusing Sarah Palin of not liking bears and wolves is now on stations in one state of the US and they are begging for more (suckers) to donate so they can put the ad on stations across the US or at least in swing states before the election.

Under the guise of helping wildlife, WACKOS' environmentalists are blatantly and deceptively raising money from wildlife and environmental enthusiasts in hopes to use that money to air ads painting Sarah Palin as an inhumane brutal murderer of indefensible wildlife in Alaska in order to affect the outcome of this 2008 Presidential election. They pretty well know John McCain will be elected and fear that if something happens to him Sarah Palin could be President. They are bragging they have been contacted by the liberal networks NBE, ABE, ENN, and several "drive by" liberal newspapers just dying to run their ad (because they have all run out of lies to air or print on Palin). So they are begging for more money to tell the "truth" about Palin. They are incensed with telling the world about Governor Palin's bounty proposal to reward wolf killers with a $150 check and her support for aerial hunting of wolves and bears (God bless the bears).

According to anonymous sources WACKOS fears that because of all the lies and distortions that have been aired on TV and in print, nobody that matters in America will believe anything they say about Palin or even care if it might be true, so neither do they.

The "drive by" LIBERAL media has seen to that with all the absurd lies they have levied at her since she gave her speech at the Republican convention before the largest audience in history before John McCain spoke the next night breaking that record.

One bitter, small town citizen in Pennsylvania,clinging to his gun and Bible was asked about the accusations WACKOS was levying at Sarah in the ad. He answered "They, what'd you call'm, wackos? Well they can all just go back under the rocks they crawled out from under. Are they so out of touch with America that they think someone is going to vote against McCain for President because they accuse his VP of having a vendetta against wolves in the coldest place on earth? Are they nuts? That man actually gave up his life for his country and if Sarah Palin was in that jet fighter when he got shot down, all broke up in his body an all, she'd a done a Rambo and carried him outa Nam, killin V.C. and some wolves and bears too if'n they got in her way, without even thinkin' 'bout it! Watch out fer Sarah!"

When a WIMPF accountant was asked about it, shaking so much his glasses fell off his balding head he said " we're just scared if Palin were President the government will start aerial slaughter of wolves and bears throughout the 50 states without regard for peoples' pets, like cats and dogs and even geckos." One VP of WACKOS, a woman, refused an interview but did give us a statement to read....it says:

"It would be better if Sarah Palin fought for the wolves' 'right to life' instead of favoring a law that would actually pay people to murder defenseless wild animals. Imagine that! A strange and hypocritical position to take for a public servant who would choose to let a defective human baby remain in her womb and then be born alive. It seems she has her priorities backwards."

My good friend, Sean Hannity had this to say about the whole thing "What a joke, hehe - I'd rather vote for McCain with a VP who protects livestock from wolves than Obama who is friends with terrorists, murderers and America hating religious con men - WACKOS, (is that what they are called?....(figures).... and the rest are the real Wolves (in sheep's clothing). Maybe when Sarah is VP she can put a bounty on all of them, hehe."

The truth is if the WACKOS was to be honest with those they are soliciting smear money from, they would tell them the wolf kill came from the legislature, not the governor. The wolf kill is part of the state's wildlife management program and the governor, as executive, is responsible for executing such programs. Alaska has too many wolves. If the packs are not culled, they will decimate the populations of moose, caribou and other prey animals. The shrinking of those herds will not only impact the prey populations, but the enlarged number of wolves will then begin to starve to death. Starving is a slow, tortuous inhumane death - as any caring person understands. The state is trying to keep the population of wolves to levels that allow the herds of animals that serve as prey/food to the wolves to remain at healthy levels to prevent such starvation cycles. Otherwise, not only will the moose and other herds be decimated, but large numbers of wolves will be starving to death.

If the WACKOS really believe Sarah Palin is the problem, the WIMPF should be promoting John McCain for president in 2008 not attempting to make him lose by smearing Palin. If McCain loses, Palin remains Governor of Alaska. If he wins, Palin will leave Alaska and quite frankly will have bigger fish to fry! But the truth is, their approach has absolutely nothing to do with the welfare of wild animals or else they would be targeting the Alaska legislators, not Palin. The WIMPF and WACKOS are simply pick pocketing naive wildlife enthusiasts' money for purely partisan political purposes. Plain and simple WIMPF wackos chicanery. Like one enthusiast on the WIMPFs and WACKOS' mailing list said "I like seeing desperation in the liberal establishment during this election season so I'm asking them to keep the emails coming now, although after McCain wins I'll be telling them to please take me off their SUCKER list."

Make Gulo_Gulo's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 1 multiplied by 4?

3 11 15 4

Go to top