Written by Marys_Mom
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Saturday, 13 September 2008

image for Obama Campaign Plans Tough Attack on McCain
John McCain still on Windows 3.1

A source inside the Barack Obama presidential campaign indicated today that the Democratic candidate intends to strike back forcefully to counter the surge in popularity which Republican opponent John McCain has enjoyed since his selection of Alaska governor Sarah Palin as his running mate.

The source, who wishes to remain anonymous, indicated that the current ad criticizing McCain for not using e-mail was only the first in a series of devastating revelations about Obama's opponent.

"When we are done, America will finally recognize McCain as the hopelessly reactionary Neanderthal he really is," the source, involved in media strategy for the Obama campaign, claimed with a mischievous wink.

After some prodding-and more than a few drinks-the source, who agreed to be known as David, asserted that the following shocking facts that would be revealed in future ads:

  • John McCain does not have a Facebook page.
  • McCain does not own an Ipod and his MP3 collection consists entirely of songs by Jerry Lee Lewis and Herman's Hermits.
  • McCain had to ask someone what ROFL meant. ROFL!
  • The Republican candidate does not speak or understand a single word of Klingon, not even simple curses.
  • McCain cannot program his VCR.
  • John McCain has only seen episode IV of Star Wars three times, and has never viewed episodes 1-III.

"Let the culture wars begin!" Mr. A. cried gleefully.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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