Written by Fish
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Sunday, 7 September 2008

image for Joe Biden  Abruptly Leaves Campaign
He's A Real Nowhere Man

Wilmington DE-- Senator Joe Biden abandoned his bid for the Vice-Presidency today after a bizarre appearance on 'Meat The Press' today. The senator was stricken with a sudden bout of aphasia. The speaking disorder is the result of several brain aneurysms Mr. Biden suffered during the 1990's.

Caroline Kennedy never bothered to look at any medical records when she was 'vetting' candidates for Barack Obama. She was too busy planning her ambassadorship to the Court of St. James!

Senator Biden was answering a question from Thom Brockall of 'Meat The Press' when the disorder appeared. Mr. Brockall asked if troops should remain in Iraq after January. Senator Biden answered:

"I read the news today, oh boy. About a lucky man who made the grade, he blew his mind out in a car. He didn't notice that the lights had changed...oh, uh, what was the question again??

Mr. Brockall seemed puzzled but ignored the odd response. He went on to a different subject and asked the senator what he thought of Governor Palin:

"She's not a girl who misses much, oh yeah. She's well acquainted with the touch of the velvet hand like a lizard on a window pane. The man...oh God...where's my medicine??" said the distraught senator.

Thom Brockall decided to end the interview early and said goodbye to Senator Biden. The senator responded:

"Hello hello, I don't know why you say goodbye I say hello. You say yes. I say no. You say....Thom is there somewhere I can lie down??"

Dr. Fish is a neurologist at Wilmington Memorial Hospital and explained what happened.

"Basically, having a brain aneurysm is like putting your brain in a blender. Things are a little mixed up at times. Senator Biden's words get jumbled up with Beatles music. I won't be voting for him. He's goofy enough to be a Kennedy Kid now." said the busy Dr. Fish.

Caroline Kennedy was red faced when Barack Obama called her after the show aired. She will be lucky now to get the ambassadorship to Haiti!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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