Written by Monkey Woods
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Friday, 5 September 2008

image for Henry Kissinger Bids For Sarah Palin Nude Photos
Kissinger

Former US Secretary of State Henry Kissinger has admitted that he has tried to buy photos over the internet that show the Republican party's Sarah Palin in her birthday suit.

Kissinger was speaking to the BBC's Emily Maitlis at the Republican convention in St Paul. She asked him if he thought that Palin had silenced her critics with her speech on Wednesday. Kissinger replied:

"Not really. I wouldn't mind getting my greasy hands on those photos though."

Maitlis went on:

"Dr Kissinger, let me ask you, are you happy with Sarah Palin as a possible Commander-in-Chief, in the event of anything happening to Senator McCain?"

He replied:

"The question is: which of the candidates would make the best commander-in-chief, and who looks best in the Crab Position? That is the key question."

Maitlis persisted:

"Well, they're saying Sarah Palin makes Barack Obama look like Henry Kissinger."

The ex-Secretary of State laughed, and said:

"She's inexperienced , yes, but she looks a fox in those pictures!"

Maitlis, frustrated, asked finally:

"There are those who say that there may come a time when 1.4 million US troops abroad are left under the watch of a commander-in-chief whose previous command was over the PTA and the Alaska National Guard. What do you say to them?"

Kissinger:

"I'd say those titties are perfect! I've already bid $400 and I'm prepared to go higher. Some guy called Redlich is selling them out of Albany. All you seem to be bothered about is some damned C-i-C questions! Wake up. I gotta get me those tittypics!"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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