Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Saturday, 30 August 2008

image for Sarah Palin's security detail includes Tina Fey as her body double

New York, New York - President Bush signed an emergency executive order shortly after he was informed of John McCain's choice for vice president, Sarah Palin, immediately pressing into mandatory service, Tina Fey, former cast member and first woman producer of SNL and star of the NBC hit show 30 Rock, as a special agent for the Secret Service to act as the GOP's vice presidential nominee's personal decoy.

"Fey will be allowed to fulfill her civil contractual obligations," said a spokesman for the Treasury Dept. "However, when duty calls, she will be expected to serve her country whenever the Secret Service needs her to act as Palin's body double."

Fey will even make public appearances and deliver speeches for Palin when she is out of the country on special assignment by McCain.

Known for her open support for Hillary Clinton and the DNC, former fellow cast members at SNL expressed concern over Fey's ability to keep in role as her more conservative character, Sarah Palin, given her liberal views and history of her political outspokenness on the show.

"I know Tina. She is a great thespian - that means actress, not the other thing you were thinking," said Lorne Michaels, SNL's long time producer, Fey's former boss and friend. "However, she's simply not that good. No one is who shares her commitment to her political idealism."

Surprisingly enough Fey not only accepted the role of body double for Palin, she is said to have warmly embraced it.

"What can I say?" said a giddy Fey. "You got to do what you got to do when duty calls, right? Besides, I'm a way better actress than I let on in front of the camera. Just ask my husband when we make love. Oh yeah, I'm a screamer. I make Meg Ryan in the restaurant scene in 'When Harry Met Sally' look like open mic night at the Apollo."

Moreover, behind the scenes, it is rumored that Fey has taken the opportunity to make quick friends with Palin and already has offered her some suggestions on her political campaign speeches, helping her rewrite many of them.

"Think about [it]," said an elated Fey. "If I'm elected -- I mean if McCain is elected, I'll be stepping into the role of a life time, playing the part of a women who's just a heartbeat away from the Presidency. Now if bitch is the new black, then call me 'Elvira, Mistress of the Dark."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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