Tennessee Financial Times, August 2008: Global Organic Research Enterprises (GORE) executives announced today that oil and natural gas deposits have been discovered on their properties. GORE is a Tennessee corporation that specializes in Internet research and trading in Carbon offsets.
GORE corporate geologists have estimated that this new fossil fuel discovery constitutes the second largest oil reserves in the world after Saudi Arabia. GORE has petitioned the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) for membership. An OPEC decision is expected sometime after November 4, 2008.
GORE corporate environmental scientists have announced their new research relative to climate change and global warming. These scientists have released a position paper that states: "Employment of oil and natural gas does not cause any climate change. It is coal and that dangerous nuclear stuff that is the problem, further compounded by use of wind, solar and geothermal sources of energy."
GORE corporate marketing personnel noted that the world's cars will continue to run on environmental friendly "green" petroleum products now and into the distant future. Windmills, solar panels and hot rocks cannot possibly power America and the world's air, land and sea transportation needs.