Written by Jalapenoman
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Monday, 25 August 2008

image for Democratic National Convention Sells Corporate Sponsorships to Fund Election
Wouldn't you like to see the Big Mac Bridge at Arches National Park?

The next time you visit the nation's capitol, would you like to see the FedEx Washington Monument? What about the ABC News White House? How about taking a summer vacation to the Goodyear Grand Canyon? What about McDonald's Yosimite National Park? All of this may come to pass due to a plan to sell corporate sponsorships to fund the Democratic Party's election campaigns in 2008.

Senator, and Presidential Candidate, Barack Obama offered the following explanation: "In these days of the Tostito's Fiesta Bowl or QualComm Stadium, corporate sponsorships have become the way to finance unprofitable ventures. Why should I risk my own money to run for office? Shouldn't special interests, who put me there any way, gain some commerical value out of it?"

"This year, we will be selling naming rights to Federal Buildings, National Monuments, Parks, and Historic Sights, and government owned lands to business in exchange for funding the campaigns for President, Senate Seats, House Seats, and Governorships."

But what if John McCain triumphs and the Democrats lose?

"That's just a risk that these companies are going to have to take. It's just like when they put out a new product."

"We're taking the money from lobbyists and big business and just directing it a different way."

"These national parks are also not that profitable. We lose taxpayer money every year so some family can ooh and aah at the formations in Carlsbad Caverns National Park, when their admission fee doesn't even cover the salary of the park rangers. Why not let some corporation make these places profitable? Look what they've done for school lunches?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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