Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Sunday, 17 August 2008

Seattle, Washington - "As soon as Michael Phelps returns from the 2008 Summer Olympic in Beijing China, a cast of his feet will be made," said a spokesman for Phelps; seemingly the announcement confirms the rumor that Phelps's flipper like feet are the idea behind some new Green based technology.

In fact, careful technical underwater wave analysis of Phelps's flipper like feet propulsion to drag ratio has confirmed that they could not only easily propel a small sea going vassal, but they may well hold the promise of boarder commercial applications as well.

"It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that Phelps's feet turnout the same amount of power as a 400-horse powered outboard motor," said Wayne Brown, Professor of Engineering at Cal Tech. "What makes Phelps's feet so unique is that they do so in the most efficient manner ever discovered since the invention of the propeller that is traditionally used to propel sea going vessels."

Professor Brown claims that replacing all the old outboard motors propellers with the new Phelps foot propulsion device (cast from his feet) will not only boost speed but also will increase fuel-efficiency.

"As data from my computer model proves, Phelps's feet beat the completion hands down," said Prof. Brown. "Why if my data holds and the power output continues to grow exponentially¬Öthat is proportionally the increase in dimensions necessary to propel significantly larger vessels, the Phelps feet propulsion design could go far beyond recreational watercraft applications, having commercial ones as well."

Already large cargo shipping ocean liners and oil tankers companies that hold transportation and delivery contacts for crude for the oil giants such as Exxon and British Petroleum (BP) have shown interest in the new Green propulsion design based on Phelps's flipper like feet.

"Unlike our American counterparts, we at BP are mandated to follow the 'Stern Review' whenever the opportunity arises," said a spokesman for BP. "We expect the cost to retrofit our fleet would be minimal. Especially when compared to the savings in time and fuel. Not to mention saving the world from the catastrophic impact that is global warming."

"We see potential military applications also," said a spokesman for the Pentagon, which has shown interest in possible stealth technology that can be derived for the Phelps design.

"It may not be too far off in the future when all maritime shipping commerce and navel warfare will be conducted in a more rapid and fuel-efficient manner, using gigantic, oversized flipper like feet instead of propellers," said Prof. Brown. "All thanks to Michael Phelps."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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