Written by Chuck Barber
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Topics: Sandwich, bread

Wednesday, 19 May 2004

image for Wonder Bread Offers Ready Made Sandwich Loaves
Mouse Loaf To Debut This Month

Wonder Bread, Inc., manufacturer of Wonder Bread announced today that they are offering new ready made Sandwich Loaves. The new product offers the ease of sliced bread and the nutrition of a mother-made sandwich all wrapped up in a plastic bag to keep it fresh.

Though battered lately by law suits as a result of making un-provable claims that eating Wonder Bread will make children smarter, Wonder Bread has been America's bread of choice for over 100 years. Never one to experiment, Wonder Bread has tended to stick to what it knows. This is their first venture into ready to eat foods.

Wonder Bread President Steve Jenkins said the implementation will have a slow roll-out with only three Sandwich Loaf flavors this summer, then if proven successful, three more in the fall. Those planned to open in the next month are, Tuna Loaf, Bologna Loaf, and Mouse Loaf. If they sell they will be followed in the fall by Ham Loaf, Dog Loaf and Beef Loaf.

Wonder Bread's stock jumped three points on the news.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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