Written by Linguini
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Topics: Sean Hannity, Fake

Friday, 14 May 2004

image for TV's Sean Hannity Says Disgusting Photos of Iraqi Prisoners are Fake!'"
"Luv you, Sean! Keep up the good B.S.!"

Yesterday on "Hannity & Colms," Right-wing Obfuscator, Sean Hannity, proclaimed in a rambling, tearful-eyed speech on his own TV program that "You know, I'll bet that each of these disgusting photos of Iraqi detainees are **fake,** having been doctored up by my Leftist Press Colleagues to embarrass the fine Bush Administration and its superb and courageous Defense Secretary, Don Rumsfeld!" "Just think for a minute where we'd be if it weren't for his leadership! . . ."
Yet before he could continue, a loud groan was heard from his co-anchor, Colms, who then puked all over Hannity's desk as he, Colms, stumbled toward Hannity in an apparent attempt to choke the living daylights out of him!

Combs, later washed and dressed, was asked about the incident, calmly retorted, "Sean is an **asshole!** Simple as that. He has no convictions other than to bury the truth with jingoistic rhetoric. That's his job on the set and in Life. Sad, isn't it?"

A reliable Beltway Source says that Right-wing Apologist, Ann Coulter, recently asked Hannity "out for a date," but that he turned her down, complaining, "You're too Liberal for me. I do Military Position in 12 seconds and then fall asleep, no kiss and no thank you, chick." (Tough guy!)

On his way out of the studio, Hannity was asked his opinion on "How did the Liberal Press, as you say, 'doctor up' the photos?", to which he replied, "Look, there are telltale signs that they were actually shot in Hollywood on the cheap with lots of Iranian extras after hours from their local 7-Eleven jobs posing as Iraqi detainees! You know, the one shot of this guy standing on a box with a hood over his head with electrical wires running down, - hey, that's right out of my college fraternity's Hell Week's Manual of scaring the crap out of our freshmen pledges! Hey, no harm, no foul!"

"Got any more zingers, Sean?", to which he answered, "Sure thing: the same Hollywood Liberal Press who faked all of these photos are the ones who've been contributing heavily to Kerry's campaign fund. Now, who are you gonna believe, the Honorable Superb Secretary Rumsfeld or Hollywood 'Take My Medals Back' Kerry, huh?"

"Whew, that was heavy!" exclaimed the reporter to Hannity. "You betcha," repled Hannity. "I've got 100% vinegar in my veins and can disagree with just about anyone left of Attila the Hun, anytime, anywhere, any how, - hey, ***it's my job*** to be, . . . well, . . . annoyingly obnoxious! Keeps up my TV ratings!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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