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Topics: John McCain

Monday, 2 June 2008

New York, New York (IPP) - John McCain headquarters has announced that a Vice Presidential candidate has finally been picked out from the ranks of the Republican party. The candidate chosen is Florida governor Charlie Crist.

Undisclosed sources claim that he won because of the diversity that he would bring to the White House.

Reporters were curious about what exactly the diverse title was supposed to represent in the case of Charlie Crist.

John McCain seemed a bit embarrassed and ill at ease as to how to explain the situation to the throng of reporters gathered at the hastily called press conference.

McCain said, "Let me put it this way - Charlie will be working out of a closet if you know what I mean". This statement did not seem to clear up the matter and he went on to explain that, "Charlie's loafers would definitely float high in the water- not that there is anything wrong with that".

Reporters remained confused and asked for more information and McCain explained that, "if Larry Craig, Mark Foley, and Charlie Crist were all birds that they would definitely fly together".

The reporters seemed to comprehend that last explanation and a strange and queer silence fell over the crowd of reporters and many of them appeared stunned.

McCain seemed to calm the reporters by finishing the press conference with this carefully prepared final statement, "Pioneers like Mark Foley and Larry Craig have allowed the Republican Party to finally come out of the closet. It should come as no surprise that we stand at the entrance to a brand new age where candidates from widely diverse life styles are called upon and step forward to guide America and the rest of the world into a gay new age of prosperity and wellness".

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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