Written by Jalapenoman
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Friday, 9 May 2008

image for Catering Plans Revealed For Jena Bush Wedding
Bush and Blair clown it up at Jena's wedding rehearsal

Jena Bush will be married this weekend at her father's ranch near Crawford, Texas. Considering that "Daddy" is President of the United States, it is a significant ranch and a lot of money is involved in giving away the First Daughter.

In an interview today, Dubya managed to give away a few of the details about the lavish wedding reception he is having for his daughter.

"Everyone keeps askin' me about the receptipation, so's I thought I'd give out some detailification to set the record straight."

"First off, we called all of them Subway restaurants in the Waco area and arranged fer a bunch of them six footers. I made sure I got half of 'em without onions since they tear me up somethin' bad and I don't wanna be fartin' during the toast or nothin'."

"I figured that them big sandwiches are better'n them little things with just cucumbers or egg salad or somethin', cuz they're just bread cut in triangles with the crust cut off. This way, you can have it your way."

"I also decided that my daughter deserves the best, so we got everyone the cupcakes with the sprinkles. Nothin's too good for my little girl!"

When asked if there were any problems with the wedding, he said that "Barney keeps trying to pee on the chairs. Whoever gets that green lawnchair might want ta put a towel down first or somethin'."

When asked if the groom's family was helping with the reception, President Bush said that "I'm traditional about that stuff. They can pay for the rehearsal dinner or something, but I'm pickin' up the tab for my swanky big deal for my daughter."

In concluding the interview, Bush asked reporters a few questions of his own: "Now which one of them twins is gettin' hitched? And do I gotta have Dick bring his shotgun for me?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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