Recent DNA testing of the infamous denim dress that supposedly contained stains of Clintonian jizz has been found to be free of Bill's biliousness. The stain however did test positive for Monica Lewinsky's favorite dessert among many.
DNA expert Candy Sweets of Pennsylvania's Hershey University announced the findings: "American history has been x-rated for no good reason at all! Ms Lewinsky was chopping on her fetish for coconut cream candies. Whether she wanted presidential standing or not, the evidence points to a sweet tooth!"
Demo Candie Hillary has been trumpeting the moral reversal of fortunes like there's no tomorrow:" Purocrats of the states renounce, Bill and I are not the sinners you thought we were! Maybe Obama with his America hating comrades is the real stain on the denim dress of the US of A!"