Written by Fish
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Topics: Barack Obama, Jesus

Friday, 2 May 2008

image for Obama's New Pastor is Jesus H. Christ
A New Pastor for Obama

(Chicago Il) Obama can't seems to keep away from controversial pastors. The Reverend Jeremiah Wright's replacement has a message to upset both liberals and conservatives. The new pastor is Jesus H. Christ and he gave his first sermon yesterday at the Trinity Church in Chicago.

Reverend Christ's first topic was 09/11. He told his congregation to "love your enemy" and to "turn the other cheek." He said "blessed are the pizza makers" or something similar. The congregation assumed it was an apology for Reverend Wright's slur against Italians.

The new pastor preached for the rich to give everything they have to the poor. The audience met this with a cold silence. Reverend Christ then burst out laughing and said "there will always be poor, y'all know I'm just messin' with ya."

Jesus H. Christ agreed with Reverend Wright that the AIDS virus was man-made. "My old man didn't make that shit, no way. Pardon my French but it really pisses me off. God don't judge unless you want to be a judge, or something like that. So the guys that made that bug are in deep shit."

Jesus H. Christ is 33 years old and this is his first church. He told the congregation he was looking for about 12 guys to work with but definitely didn't want Obama. "I don't trust that Judas and neither should y'all! And in case y'all haven't figured it out by now the H. stands for Hussein!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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