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Wednesday, 30 April 2008

image for Condoleeza Rice Gives Bizarre News Conference
What Was She Thinking!

(Washington DC) Secretary of State Condoleeza Rice is perceived both inside and outside the Bush Administration as smart, savvy and sober. Those perceptions may change after a bizarre news conference she gave yesterday to reporters in front of the White House. The Spoof.com covered the event:

"Hello again, I first want to make a statement defending myself." said Ms. Rice. "To begin with I'm upset. I'm upset about all this news about rice whoring. I am not a whore and have never been a whore. Except maybe that one time at school, but I was very drunk and very young. Stop printing stories about rice whoring, please!"

Mr. Fish from TheSpoof.com patiently explained to Ms. Rice the stories were about hoarding--not whoring. They are two different things.

"Well OK then, I guess that's good!" the Secretary grinned dimly. "Second thing is all the stories about a rice shortage. I'm still the same height. I think I remember being short as a baby or something."

Mr. Fish again patiently explained the difference between a shortage and being short to the confused Secretary.

"Well that's OK then too, I guess! And guess what everyone?? I'm not a real secretary! I don't know how to type too good and stuff. Sometimes I like to file papers and play with the stapler. So now everyone have a real nice day, you hear? And I'm glad you all don't think I'm a whore or short or anything!"

Ms. Rice then passed out on the stuff she was either smoking or drinking and the news conference ended abruptly.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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