Written by tzdan
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Sunday, 27 April 2008

image for Jesus a Little Freaked-Out by Everyone Constantly Cursing Him
Jesus! That sombero looks awful on you!

EL PASO, TX - For many recent immigrants, America is a land of hope and opportunity. For some, though, it can be strange and confusing. Jesus Gomez is one of the latter, as the new resident of El Paso has noticed a disturbing trend among his new fellow Americans.

"People are always cursing at me," said Gomez. "They are always saying 'Jesus! I lost my damn keys' or 'Jesus! I can't believe the Astros lost again'. I'm sorry you lost your keys, and I'll even help you look for them, but please, it's not mi culpa."

"And these people, they don't even look at me when they say it. It kinda freaks me out. And if I say 'sorry, what was that?' or 'excuse me?', they always give me a nasty look, it's muy loco, no?"

The janitor at Bob's Gently Used Cars claims that he enjoys his new life in America, but wishes he could just share a normal pleasant greeting with strangers and urges them to "please, just stop talking to me like this. It's muy confusing, comprende?"

"Oh, and I understand your Espanol isn't very good, but please try to pronounce my name properly. It's not jee-zus, it's hey-zeus, si?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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