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Thursday, 24 April 2008

image for Senator John McCain wishes to have sex with model Heidi Klum; others
Senator McClain and his friend entering the Banana Cafe Piano Bar in Wshington, DC

After a vigorous day of campaigning, Senator John McCain reportedly told a friend that he would enjoy having sexual intercourse with 35-year-old top model Heidi Klum. She is also the wife of the singer Seal.

"We were out having a beer", the friend stated on condition on anonymity, "John says to me 'hey, that Heidi Klum is one hot babe. I'd love to f**k her'. Then he pointed down at his penis and made grinding motions!"

Klum, a former Victoria's Secret model and voted "World's Hottest Model", was offended at the remark by McCain. "I'm a married woman. How DARE he have evil thoughts about me!" she told a Vague Magazine reporter. "Not only that but he's like totally gross! Keep his crippled hands off me!"

Klum's husband Seal was outraged at McCain's lustful attitude toward his wife. "If he gets within ten feet of her I'm going to punch him in the nose", Seal stated.

Senator McClain remembers the conversation with his friend quite differently. "I simply said Heidi Klum is an attractive woman and Seal is a very lucky man", McCain stated. "I never suggested that I was going to have sex with her."

The friend also stated that during the same conversation McCain also expressed a desire for sexual intercourse with pop superstar Britney Spears, French actress Juliette Binoche, and American actress Angelina Jolie.

Several witnesses in the bar corroborated the friends story. "It's OK. McCain was juiced out of his head", one of the patrons suggested.

"Not only that but he called Jamie Lynn Spears a MILF (Mother I'd Love to perform sex with)!" the friend claimed.

Later in the conversation McCain reportedly stated that he preferred the Lakers over the Celtics.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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