Written by Gordon Hose
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Topics: Hillary Clinton

Thursday, 17 April 2008

A sex tape featuring Presidential hopeful Hilary Clinton has surfaced on the internet.

According to reports the former first lady is seen performing a sex act on a deputy director. The recording is taken from a mobile phone and leaked to a renowned sleaze web site.

The identity of the cameraman has not been disclosed but speculation is rife that a broad southern accent can be distinguished during a whoop for joy and a scream of "Oh yeah," 3 minutes and 26 seconds into the 5 minute 14 second recording, leading people to believe that the former president and the candidates husband Bill Clinton is responsible for the leak.

Aides to the 'First Gentlemen' have recently reported that the former president is unhappy on the campaign trail as his wife seems to be grabbing all of the attention, leaving no time for Bill's insatiable sexual and emotional appetite.

During private conversations with those close to him he has been quoted as saying "I feel completely undermined, she (Hilary) is on the road so much I haven't seen her in days. I've had to cook, speak to the kids and arrange to see her with an appointment. I want to be involved but my allowance won't let me follow the campaign around."

The trouble in Camp Hilary does not end there as advisors are panicking that this, the latest scandal to hit the family is too similar to the one that saw the demise of Bill during his second term as president.

This will no doubt affect her standing with the middle classes, as it is well known politically that 'White America' doesn't approve of 'that sort of thing' by public figures despite being the highest percentage of people 'Most Likely to Film Themselves at it' (- Source, USA Weekend Magazine Sex Survey 2003).

As this footage becomes widely available the campaign team are convinced that Hilary has now blown her chances as it will certainly end her 'Champion of Women' status, the penetrating, thrusting force of her entire campaign.

A source within the campaign said "the whole thing is completely on its knees, just like she was in the tape, slut! How are women supposed to trust her now, the most powerful, influential, inspiring woman on the planet on her knees making Phil feel like a King! People will now assume that this is how Hilary gets things done."

World leaders and cabinet hopefuls have joined together in throwing their support behind Hilary in light of this recent scandal and seem keen to develop their own agendas with the former Senator.

The latest polling however has suggested that there has been a huge rise in her approval rating from all males, with the largest spurt coming from the 18-25 age group. She is still not performing well for the over 60's but it is hoped that they will swallow her latest health care reform which sees (amongst other policies) free enhancement medication for seniors.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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