Written by Jesus Budda
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Topics: New York

Wednesday, 4 June 2008

image for Cracks in New York Sidewalk Drive Crazy People Insane
Bastard cracks. Maybe if I cover my face with this camera I'll be safe...

New York City council has come under fire from mental patients at NYC Asylum over the poor condition of the city's sidewalks.

"Most of our patients cannot cope with the cracks in the pavement", said the asylum's chief medical officer, "it's real hard going about your business when you have to try and avoid all those cracks - especially when there's nowhere without cracks".

We spoke to Dave, a 34 year old homeless, speed-freak, loony who freaks out at the mere thought of stepping on a crack.

"How's a dude supposed to walk about town, man?", said a clearly distraught Dave, "A guy like me could fall through one of those sucka's if he aint careful where he's steppin'".

New York Mayor Blimpface has issued a statement saying that he will put systems in place to prevent any citizen falling through the cracks.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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