Written by AAJetMan
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Topics: Death, Birthdays

Friday, 14 March 2008

image for Surprise! Centenarian Dies at Own 100th Birthday Party
A Young Jeremiah (photo circa 1957)

AKRON, OHIO - When the family of centenarian Jeremiah Toumrok planned a surprise party for his 100th birthday, they never expected the surprise would be on themselves!

Just two days ago relatives huddled silently in Jeremiah's darkened kitchen while the old man hobbled in from the bedroom. Then, just as he mustered enough strength to turn on the kitchen light, the group shouted a collective Surprise!"

Overcome by shock the geriatric feebly raised one arm toward his heart before promptly collapsing to the floor like a melted candle.

Now reunited at the funeral parlor 2 days after the YouTube-famous fatal fall, the family seems to be taking the inevitable rather well.

Robin, Jeremiah's second daughter's cousin-in-law's wife's niece smirked while stating "We all knew he'd croak sometime, we just didn't know when. I guess that's why it's a 'surprise' party" the 35 year old said, unable to hold back a giggle.

"You gotta love the irony" chuckled Tony, Jeremiah's 28 year-old great grandson, a local tailor. "Heck, we planned for something special, but we never thought the old codger would surprise us!!"

"I shouted the loudest" bragged schoolteacher Rebecca, Tony's sister. "You gotta give me extra credit!"

The greatest compliment came from great-great third nephew Michael. "I'd never seen the ol' fart move that fast. Good old great-great uncle Jeremiah is hilarious. Well, he was at least", Michael's laughter echoing throughout the parlor's viewing area.

Jeremiah leaves behind 453 descendants, and a warm chuckle in the hearts of the ones lucky enough to be at the surprise party.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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