Written by Deanna Goodson
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Topics: Texas, Psychic

Wednesday, 28 April 2004

Somewhere in Texas, USA ---

Fiona Clair Vouyant, the psychic to and of the stars as well as the power players and power hitters around the globe, held a press conference today announcing her prophetic dream that President Bush will indeed resign before the November elections.

"Yes, everyone, I have seen that the Bush will go back quietly into the night. He wishes for all of the ugliness of his reign to be undone sort of like that really crappy last season of Dallas where they explained it away with a dream. After he renounces his throne --- oops, I mean his office --- the guys from the secret ageny, MIB, will come to wipe all of our memories away." Fiona smiled benevolently to a crowd of confused journalists.

This reporter just had to ask, "WHY ?" and "Wha-wha-wha-whaTTT?"

"Those are great questions, little Spoofer," Fiona replied. "When something so out of whack happens in the universe, you know like 911, the Iraqi war, the 2000 election and well, the Sammy Sosa corked bat incident, the Universe must respond just as harshly."

She took a sip of some substance that looked suspiciously like Moonshine, but this reporter's not gonna make any outrageous claims.

Then, she continued, "We will go back to a 'kinder, gentler America.' There will be a democrat in Office, but it won't be Al Gore. Clinton will rise again and the constitution will be fixed to allow it to be so. Then, we'll pull out of Iraq like Spain and Poland and the Dominican Republic. {Clinton's good at the ole pull-out ----sorry, couldn't resist that one!}"

What will happen to Saddam Hussein?
Will 911 have happened?

"The answers to those questions will be revealed at a later date, my child. Right now, I am so tired from my sojourn in the spirit/dream world. I need to rest." Fiona said and went away.

She promised me exclusives so, stay tuned to the Spoof for more updates, okay?

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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