Washington AC/DC - (Psychotic Mess): "It ain't the rogue satellite's hydrazine that's the toxic mess so much," a Pentagon spokesman admitted today.
"It's more the on-board links to classified files about Bush's personal espionage vendetta against NATO top brass," former PsychOps head General Albert Stubblebine VI's personal aide-de-campe added, "the ones who hold all the evidence of his orders in child molestor cover-ups.
"It's got the TheoCons sweating like pigs in an abbatoir restroom.
"And if they're sweating you can bet your ass Bush is back on medication for that little-publicised psychotic episode marketed as his pretzel moment."
Bush has ordered US Navy Seals' Top Guns to prepare for a seek and destroy mission more dangerous and macho than ever attempted on Hollywood celluloid.
"Our cover story about firing a Patriot from the Nimmitz is a good one," a source close to former Secretary of State General Colon Bowel said today, "and gives us the chance to send in the Tom Cruise-lookalikes we've been grooming for the last decade."
Not everybody is happy with the analogy however.
"The idea of the Pentagon grooming new blood in a child molestor cover-up debacle is frankly horrifying," the CIA's Head of Satire said today.