Written by AAJetMan
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Thursday, 14 February 2008

image for Nice Guys Finish Last in Sylvan's new 'How to be Rude at Work' Training
Instructor Beotche Greets Arriving Students

Want to pass the latest course at Sylvan Learning Centers? Then do away with your cordial dialogue, right now!

Sylvan's new "How to be Rude at Work" course teaches office "pushovers" how to fire back at abusive colleagues, so abundant in today's workforce.

Instructor Georgette Beotche describes the new office rhetoric she calls 'rudespeak'.

"Whether you're communicating via conversation or email, if you're not disliked by your colleagues, you're falling behind."

She instructs students to "swap the 'Please' for 'I need it now'. Replace the 'Thank you' with 'It's about time'. It's sure to make you an ace!" states Beotche.

Student Mark Kneissghai is excited about the class. "I've learned a lot already. I mean, why should I be the idiot saying 'Please' and 'Thank you'. I'm tired of being the nice guy at the office. I look forward to becoming another inconsiderate jerk, like everybody else!"

When asked if he planned to put the lessons into action, Mark responded "get the (expletive) out of my way. My time is too valuable."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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