In a bold move that experts claim was designed to wrestle the minority vote away from surging Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton has announced a radical new policy that she "guarantees will be instated within 90 days of her inauguration."
Clinton announced on Wednesday that as President she will create a new law that allows all minorities to have a white slave.
"Each minority family will be allowed one white slave," Clinton proclaimed at a rally consisting of a mostly minority audience.
While Super Tuesday did not show evidence of a true front-runner in the Democratic race, the results did suggest that Obama is closing the gap and appears ready to take over the delegate lead. Political experts think that Hillary's new policy is merely an attempt to slow down Obama.
After her rally, Clinton told press that she felt that a new slavery law was the only way truly bring equality to a country that still battles racial issues.
"This move in no way is an attempt to boost my appeal or bring a specific group over to my side. This is simply what is best for the country," Clinton proclaimed.
Polls taken shortly after the rally indicated that Clinton's bold move was already paying off. Her minority support increased dramatically, with approximately 95% of minorities indicating they would vote for her over Obama or any Republican candidate.
Even better for Clinton, it appears that her move will not cost her any of her white supporters. One white Hillary fan declared that he would still vote for her over Obama, even if that meant he would become a slave. In fact 75% of whites surveyed claimed they would rather be slaves then have a black President.
Obama was not available for comment, but a rumor from his camp suggests he is now planning to vote for Hillary. The source told reporters that Obama revealed that he "would really like a slave," but wanted to know if a half-black man would still be eligible to have one.