In a speech to Congress today, President George W. Bush confessed, that after he leaves office, he is moving to Canada. "I hear they take good care of their people up there - the states are so screwed up, I want to get out while I still can."
"I feel so violated - George and his crew, gang raped the American people and now they want to bail before the 'lust child' fathered by their evil deeds is born. If the U.S. is 'screwed' it won't take a DNA test to find out who the perpetrators are. The state of our union is a direct result of George Bush's assault," an unnamed Congress member stated.
Many questioned if the rest of his family would be joining him in Canada, and George was said to have replied - "Well, I'm the decider, and what I say goes - you're either with me or you're with Satan - and that's a fact."
When asked how she learned to live with a man like George, Laura Bush replied, "Well, if a dog can learn, so can I."
(I think Satan would be more fun but that's just me Susan)