Written by Warren Redlich
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Tuesday, 5 February 2008

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Ron Paul Wins Maine - Must be why he's smiling!

Ron Paul, the outsider Republican presidential candidate, stunned the political world with a victory in the state of Maine. While Mitt Romney recorded 52% of the vote to Paul's 19%, quirks in the Maine process led to Paul winning 40% of the state's delegates, with Romney and McCain dividing the rest evenly.

The Ron Paul campaign was quick to trumpet the importance of this victory, noting that no Republican candidate has ever won the presidency without winning Maine. Ron Paul campaign chair Kent Snyder was particularly pleased with their "Remember the Maine" campaign slogan: "It was very effective, and historically accurate and consistent with Dr. Paul's message -- The sinking of the Maine led to war with Spain, but with a formal declaration of war. ... Dr. Paul has consistently criticized the current war in Iraq because there was never a formal declaration of war."

While Ron Paul and his followers rejoiced, the rest of the country remains focused on Super Tuesday. The major networks mentioned the Maine results only in passing, leaving out any mention of delegates. Fox News did not cover Maine at all, and instead had a panel discussion about Rudy Giuliani's future with the Republican Party.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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