Written by Jalapenoman
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Monday, 28 January 2008

image for John Edwards Is In The Kingmaker Role
Where will his delegates take him?

John Edwards sits in distant third place behind Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama in the Democratic Party Primaries. This position, however, could be his "golden ticket" to future success. If neither Clinton or Obama reach a 50% majority in delegates, Edward's votes could put either over the top.

Sunday afternoon found the Senator campaigning in Florida. When asked what it would take to make him happy, and ensure someone of a majority, he just smiled.

"I don't want to be the running mate again. That was just too tough and I want to spend the last little time my wife has left with her (after securing at least ten percent of the delegates, of course)."

"No, I see myself as the king maker. I'm the one that will put one of them over the top. This really is a position of power."

"Now, that will have a price. Secretary of State? Maybe. Secretary of Defense? Not during an unpopular war. Chairman of the Party? That didn't help Howard Dean too much. Our representative to the U.N.? That one didn't help Bill Richardson."

"I'm actually thinking that I might like to be Ambassador to Tahiti or the Bahamas. It's warm and sunny and I wouldn't have to put up with any Washington winters. There are also a lot of gorgeous babes there, and my kids will need a new mother when the cancer finally takes my wife."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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