Written by John P Slevin
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Monday, 28 January 2008

image for All Candidates Except Ron Paul Get Secret Service Protection
One of the agents who will not be guarding Ron Paul

Today, in a surprise move, President Bush signed an order authorizing all remaining presidential candidates to begin receiving Secret Service Protection. All candidates, except for Ron Paul, will begin to receive the protection immediately.

It was not immediately clear why the Texas congressman would be excluded from protection by the nation's most elite security agency.

Paul has raised more money than all other Republican candidates in the most recent quarter, and received the second highest number of votes in the recent Nevada and Louisiana caucuses. His platform calls for abolition of the IRS, elimination of the income tax and returning to the gold standard.

The Secret Service was mum about the reasons for Paul's lack of protection, but one agent was heard to mutter: "Hey, we're a part of the Treasury Department man, what do you expect?"

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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