DC - The 2008 Presidential State of the Union speech has been canceled due to the ongoing writers' strike.
"America's greatest fiction and comedy writers refused to cross picket lines," said Republican White House spokesmodel Dana Perrino. "To invent ways that America is stronger than ever under the leadership of George W Bush requires the utmost in comedy writing. Does America really want to see W speak without a fully loaded TelePrompter and backup ear piece feeding him lines? That would only encourage the terrorists!"
As replacement programming, the Republican National Committee has offered a montage of "Greatest Hits from Republican State of the Union Speeches". In it, Bush will invoke 9/11, urge Congress to invade Iraq and denounce steroid abuse.
"The state of the Union today," said Republican White Fox House News spokesliar Tony Snow, "Is such that it is better to recall the glorious fables of past State of the Union speeches that to dwell on the facts of today."