Written by Robert W. Armijo
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Friday, 11 January 2008

image for Mr. Potato Head and Louis the Octopus caught in torrid homosexual love affair at Newquay's Blue Reef Aquarium
Mr. Potato Head and Louis the Octopus find love in each others arms at the Blue Reef Aquarium

Cornwall, England - Officials and patrons of the Blue Reef Aquarium were taken aback when early one morning they awoke to find an overnight guest in Louis the octopus's aquarium. Mr. Potato Head of "Toy Story" and "Toy Story 2" fame dropped into the aquarium last December, say Aquarium officials. Ever since then, they have become inseparable companions, rarely leaving each other's side.

"All this time he's been telling me he had to go out of town on a business trip," said Mrs. Potato. "Now I find out he has been having a love affair with an octopus. I can't compete with that. It has eight arms or legs. I have only two of each. How am I supposed to compete with that?"

Aquarium officials say they caught by surprise as well believing the two just to be good friends, as Mr. Potato Head would often drop in a visit Louis whenever he was in town.

"We didn't know they we're a couple at first either," said Matt Slater, curator of the Blue Reef Aquarium. "We just thought they were really close friends."

Close friends in deed, as one early morning a tour group of aquarium patrons from a local elementary school walked in on the couple while they were copulating.

"It's not as disgusting as you'd think," said Slater. "To the contrary, it was quite tender, really."

Apparently, Mr. Potato Head just lies there nearly motionless (playing the role of the female) while Louis does all the work (playing the role of the male) putting tasty treats like crab meat inside Mr. Potato Head's secret compartments.

"They seem to enjoy each others company," said aquarium officials "Playing' with each other for hours on end."

Normally overnight visitation are prohibited at the Blue Reef Aquarium but since Louis seems to be deriving such mental, emotional in addition to his physical stimulation, aquarium officials are willing to make an exception.

"We hope Mrs. Potato Head understands," said Slater. "It's not like we encouraged the affair in any way but since the couple came out, we will support their relationship in any way we can."

Marriage counselors say that like any extramarital affairs the spouse is often the last to know though they may have had their suspicious.

"I thought we were a happily married couple," said Mrs. Potato Head. "What will the children think?"

Reflecting back on their long marriage, Mrs. Potato Head struggle to explain her husband's homosexuality maintaining that she had no clue as to where it came from.

"All I can think of is that over the past year or so every time I walked into the room and he was watching "The Little Mermaid" he would turn it off and act real nervous," said Mrs. Potato Head. "I didn't think anything of at the time, but now it kinda makes sense."

Fortunately, the two Potato Head children are already in college attending Idaho State.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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