Written by K.C. Bell
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Saturday, 5 January 2008

image for Obama, Obama, Obama
The dream lives on.

The wallet said Edwards, the brain Hillary, but the heart voted for Obama. The heart and the American dream triumph at the Iowa caucus. Take that, people who think the American dream is dead.

Clearly, it was comatose during the eight year Bush administration, but news of the caucus win was heard around the world, all the way to Nyangoma-Kogelo in Kenya, ancestral home of Barack Obama. A grandson of Kenya won the Democratic caucus in Iowa. How does it feel? Obama was asked the following morning, "Good! Just like I told my kindergarten teacher." A brisk, shinning memory of Kennedy. Take that, kindergarten cop.

The kindergarten cop put the best spin imaginable for her third place finish, promising change and victory in New Hampshire; 'change' while standing in front of the ghosts of the '90s: Madeleine Albright, Bill Clinton, Wesley Clark, while wearing that same pantsuit. "We never expected to do well in Iowa." The aim was to come in third? Beats fourth? For that you spent millions and millions of dollars? How many votes were raked in for voting to name the Iran army a terrorist organization?

On the Republican side, the Iowa caucus proved to be Giuliani's final 9/11. Amen, so long, back to wife number three. Think you can scare pensioners in Florida to save your bacon? Not after the way you dumped wife number two. (At a press conference.) Huckabee won on a campaign of hope, putting to rest the propaganda of fear shovelled by Giuliani.

McCain could still zero into New Hampshire on his F14, win the Republican primary in one swift shot, while spreading his no nonsense Spencer Tracy charm. An MSNBC news director likened Mitt Romney's loss to the Bruce Willis character in the film, The 6th Sense: "Everyone knows he's dead except Mitt Romney." Somewhere up in dog heaven, Shamus is applauding with all four paws.

Obama announced, "If I can win in New Hampshire, I will be the next President of the United States."

And in a far away village in western Kenya, a family waits around a radio to hear that bold strong prediction become a reality.

"Everyone's under arrest."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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