Written by John Andreini
Rating:

Share/Bookmark
Print this

Monday, 17 December 2007

Conservative talk show host, author, and defender of Christmas Bill O'Reilly announced today that he is legally changing his first name to Jesus Christ.

"I'm just sick and tired of all of the equivocation and trepidation when it comes to saying 'Jesus' out loud anywhere but a church. We're a Christian nation with a Christian heritage and if Jesus came back today, there is no doubt in my mind he would stop in America first. He has an open invitation to be on my show, by the way. So my new moniker will force the weak and the timid to speak the Son of God's name out loud."

Christian leaders from around the nation expressed mixed reactions to O'Reilly's new name. The Reverend Charles Griffin, who leads a congregation of thousands at the Our Savior Baptist Church in Dallas, Texas, expressed the views of many protestant clergy.

"Blasphemy. The man has gone insane. There is only one Jesus Christ, and Bill O'Reilly ain't him."

However, televangelist Pat Robertson feels O'Reilly is advancing the cause of Christianity.

"Think how many people will now utter the name Jesus Christ and not be swearing. I would like to see more people change their names to Biblical ones. I'm seriously considering becoming Nebuchadnezzar Robertson."

The Vatican minced no words in a memo condemning O'Reilly, calling him, "…a dangerous buffoon and a heretic."

Callers to O'Reilly's talk show, The O'Reilly Factor, have also been split. Although many callers used long strings of profanity, some, like Mildred from Omaha, applauded the change. "I know Jesus is pleased because we had breakfast together today and he told me how proud he was of Mr. O'Reilly."

O'Reilly is also working on a new book entitled, "What Would I Do?"

Make John Andreini's day - give this story five thumbs-up (there's no need to register, the thumbs are just down there!)

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

If you fancy trying your hand at comedy spoof news writing, click here to join!

Print this


Share/Bookmark

Mailing List

Get Spoof News in your email inbox!

Email:

What's 3 multiplied by 2?

7 2 6 14

Go to top ^