Written by NickFun
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Friday, 23 November 2007

image for Hillary Clinton 'stimulated' by Ron Paul
Hillary's nipples get erect watching Ron Paul as Barack Obama looks on

Aspiring Democratic Presidential hopeful New York Senator Hillary Clinton allegedly became sexually aroused during a speech by Republican/Libertarian candidate Texas Congressman Ron Paul this afternoon, according to several Republican sources at the scene.

"Hillary seemed to be breathing hard during the speech", said financial consultant Peter Schiff who was also at the campaign event. "You could clearly see her nipples protruding through the fabric of her suit jacket. I would dare to say that Hillary was very horny!"

To lend credence to Schiff's remarkable claim, Peter Randall, a New York businessman and Ron Paul supporter, videotaped Hillary using a "heat sensing" camera and revealed that Hillary's crotch was noticeably very warm.

"She was on fire", Randall claimed. "I though she was going to jump on stage and do him right then and there!

Senator Clinton vehemently denied the allegations. "I was not horny! I was cold. That's why my nipples were erect. And I don't know anything about heat cameras or whatever the hell that thing was he had pointed at my personal region!"

Subsequent thermal readings of the inside of the hall revealed it to be a balmy 82 degrees F (28 C) at the time of the alleged nipple erection.

Presidential hopeful Christian Conservative Mike Huckabee was appalled at Ms Clinton's lack of sexual self-control. "She's no better than her husband!" Huckabee exclaimed. "They're both a couple of sexual deviants! If Jesus was here he'd cast the both of them into eternal damnation!"

Senator Clintons husband Bill was involved in a sexual liaison with an intern during his tenure as President in the 1990's.

Ron Paul insisted that Hillary has the right to become horny any time and any place she pleases. His wife Carol was more judgmental. "Just because she's not getting any at home that's no reason to go after my husband!" Ms. Paul stated emphatically.

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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