George W Bush shocked America, yesterday when he outlined his latest initiative to rid the world of terrorism - he would make happiness a criminal offence.
The troubled President explained that all of the world's social evils were due to a small, but successful group of happy people.
In a rare reference to the recent, ill fated war, he admitted that he was forced into the conflict with Iraq by jolly American citizens, whose only interest in life was spreading happiness.
He sent a strong message to all American do gooders' that his administration would not tolerate any public display of joy or happiness.
Bush stated that American's were much more contented with their lives during the misery of the Great Depression.
American's must learn to enjoy suffering, if we are to win this war on terrorism,' Bush ranted.
And if happy Americans carry on with their selfish ways, I will take their votes away,' he threatened.