Candy giant Mars, Incorporated announced today that it would purchase large quantities of recently recalled Aqua Dot toys originating from China.
The Aqua Dots were coated with the industrial chemical 1,4-butanediol - which transforms into the banned drug GHB (the so-called date rape drug) when swallowed.
"We are always looking for ways to reduce the manufacturing costs of our lines of candy, and we are looking into mixing some of these Aqua Dots into bags of M&Ms. We don't think those stupid kids will notice any difference; most of them just pour the damned candy from the bag right into their eager little mouths."
Several container ships carrying full loads of Aqua Dots have been re-routed from Toys 'R Us to various M&M candy factories around the globe. The Mars company has stated that there will be no special packaging changes; kids will be able to find the GHB-laced Aqua Dots right in there with their favorite flavored M&Ms in regularly marked packages. New stock should be reaching grocery and candy store shelves in time for Christmas.
None of the above is true -- as far as I know.