It was reported today that it wasn't long ago 10-term Texas congressman, Ron Paul, was back in Kansas tending to his conventional duties on the farm. Yet weather conditions in Kansas caused Mr. Paul's house to be lifted up and placed in a land of make believe, "somewhere over the rainbow" where the lines of fantasy and reality become blurred.
With the trunk of the Republican elephant sticking out beneath his house, and admonitions from his campaign manager, "good witch of the North," Lew Pew to "blend the old with the new," Paul has taken off on his own journey to Washington and found help along the way.
"Had his campaign taken place in the pre-Internet era, it might have gone the way of his 1988 Libertarian campaign for president, as a footnote to history," says one munchkin reporter in a high-pitched voice that sounds like she's just taken a hit of helium. "But because of the Internet's low-cost ability to connect grass-roots supporters with one another - in this case, largely iconoclastic white men - Mr. Paul's once-solo quest has taken on a life of its own."
James Sugar, 28, of Huntington Beach, Calif., was hanging out by the side of the road doing his usual variety of mundane chores when he spotted the traveling Paul. Acting on his own, he posted an online video proposing one big day of fund-raising. And the travelers set off skipping down the road together.
When they came upon Trevor Hyman, 37, at Miami Beach, poor Trevor was sunburned from getting drunk and falling asleep in the sand and couldn't move. After rubbing old Trevor down with Noxzema skin cream and Corn Huskers Lotion, the travelers revived the young lout and he single-handedly created a web-site, www.thisnovember5th.com, that featured the video that Sugar had made.
Finally, Paul and his two travelers, James "The Scarecrow" Sugar, and Trevor "The Tin Man" Hyman, met a third compatriot, Andrew Lion. They were traveling through a forest up in the Adirondacks when the 28-year-old Lion jumped out at them and yelled, "I'm so bored of sitting around performing my day job! Take me with you!" and they did.
It was reported that Paul and his travelers fell asleep in a poppy field before they got to Washington, but since Paul was a physician he was able to concoct an elixir for the travelers to counteract the flower's toxic effects.
After reaching Washington and speaking with Tim Russert of NBC's "Meet the Press" they were instructed to kill the wicked witch of the Northeast, NY Mayor, Rudi Giuliani and bring back his broom to Washington. Giuliani, on the other hand, was able to pay for more staffers than Paul and also kept a team of flying monkeys by his side to call on to bring trouble to anyone who crossed him.
Working closely with private defense contractors such as Blackwater USA, the group was able to pull off the operation, turn Giuliani into a puddle in the governor's mansion and bring back the mayor's broom to Washington.
But the press continued to hound the group calling them "iconoclasts, misfits and amateur." It wasn't until a poll conducted by the Pew Charitable Fellows that showed overwhelming support by the American people for Paul revealed the press for what it was, "a giant talking head," without substance using tricks of smoke and mirrors.
Afterwards, the press apologized, and recognized each traveler of the group individually for their honor and bravery, and carried by familiar, surreptitious gusts of misanthropic hot air, disappeared into the sky leaving all saying
"There's no place like Rome. There's no place like Rome."