Virginia Beach - (Apocalyptic Mess): The Reverend Pat Robertson has blamed "Godless sluts like Britney, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan and Vanessa Hudgens" for the Lord's wrath that's wreaking havoc on Southern California's fire-ravaged terrain.
"I'd like to say to the citizens of Malibu: this disaster in your area is because young California whores have rejected the Almighty.
"They have bared their breasts and vaginas in public for financial gain and acted like a manget for Satan's works.
"And now The Lord has summoned up His venegeful Holy Wind of Santa Ana, patron saint of housewives, homemakers, God-fearin' married women, church-goin' grandmothers, good families and horsewomen (sic), to bring these sluts to their knees."
Today Godless slut Britney Spears joined scores of local celebs in the exodus from the disaster area today.
Robertson's jury's still out on the Godliness - or otherwise - of other celebrity Malibu residents who have fled the scene.
These include Tom Hanks, Pamela Anderson, Olivia Newton-John, Goldie Hawn, Sting, Jim Carrey, Diana Ross, Barbra Streisand, Pierce Brosnan, Bill Murray, Cindy Crawford and Jane Seymour.
In a published statement, Robertson later clarified his comments:
"God is tolerant and loving, but He can't stand these clit-flashing young whores. And neither can I."