Written by Anthony J Nowak
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Monday, 22 October 2007

image for Bush Labels California Wild Fires a Terrorist Organization
Damn terrerits

President Bush today enacted his executive powers and has officially labelled the southern California area wild fires a terrorist organization.

Calling southern California a "hotbed" for this new terrorist group's activities, the President's actions today will automatically freeze all the fires' assets and holdings in both the U.S. and any of its allies with whom it holds financial treaties.

"These wild fires, they think they can just attack the homeland with repercussions, well, they're mistaken," Bush announced at a mid-day press conference. "If we let these wild fires just burn amuck, then the terrorists win."

The Commander-In-Chief also ordered the names changed from their current titles assigned to them by California firefighting crews, like "Witch Fire" and "Canyon Fire", to "al-qaida in California" and "Allah's Rain of Fire".

The designation of a terrorist organization also allowed for more federal funding to monitor the fires' activities. While no official confirmation came from the N.S.A., it is normally procedural that all the fires' communications and movements begin being closely scrutinized by officials there.

"Suffice it to say, if these terrorist cells make any more moves, we'll be right there watching," stated NSA Director Keith B. Alexander. "America can feel safer already knowing we are watching their every move."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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