Written by Jeff Brone
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Tuesday, 9 October 2007

image for Nader Calls for Recall of Christmas
No fire truck for timmy this year

Consumer advocate and former presidential candidate Ralph Nader has called for a recall of Christmas this year.

He recently said "Christmas is poorly constructed with no regard for the safety of the consumer. At least two Christmas trees had minor fires last year, due to them being set on fire. They were real trees, and we're considering a class action suit against God."

Nader went on to say that he will no longer be taking his part time job as a department store Santa Claus because of all the problems he has with the holiday season.

Nader asserted that Santa Claus' sleigh is at least two hundred years old and uses brake pads made of oxen bones, which may not even be available anymore. Nader added that "Supposedly his sleigh runs on 'the goodwill and happiness of the season' but that isn't a particularly clean burning fuel and is hazardous to the ozone layer."

Nader will be lobbying for a recall and maybe we can replace the holiday, temporarily, with his idea of "Wind Power and Lawsuit Day" celebrating windmills and lawyers all over the world.

On a personal note, Mr. Nader says he is busier than ever, complaining about "everything under the sun" and has also come up with a new way to fold his shirts so they look "more wrinkly."

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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