Washington, D.C. - After promising to resign once it was disclosed he was arrested and pleaded guilty for soliciting sex in a public restroom from an undercover policemen at an international airport, Sen. Larry Craig (Rep.) announced today he would serve out the rest of his term instead. His colleagues and constituents alike are criticizing the reversal of his decision as dishonest and misleading but more importantly unethical.
"After carefully weighing all options," said a spokesman for Sen. Craig. "Sen. Craig has come to the conclusion that it is in his best interests to remain in office as long as he can. It is his sincerest hopes to spend the remainder of his term rededicating himself to representing the issues that matter most to his constituents."
According to Sen. Craig's staff, they stand ready to introduce a bill that will retroactively legalize bathroom sex at International airports as soon as next week.
"If the bill passes, it will allow him to remain in office without the threat of ever having to face sanctions for ethics violations hovering over him however unlikely," say Washington insiders.
"His decision to remain in office is in direct violation of The Contract With America that helped sweep the Republicans into power in 1994 and Newt Gingrich as Speaker of the House in 1995," said a former Republican and Moral Majority member now an atheist and non-partisan. "Under that Contract, all laws that apply to citizens are supposed to apply to elected officials, too. I guess he didn't sign it."