Las Vegas, NV September 14, 2007 - In an impromptu news conference held on the Las Vegas Strip this morning, OJ Simpson pledged " not to rest until the real burglar is found."
Late last night Las Vegas police interviewed Mr. Simpson as a person of interest in a break-in at a casino sports memorabilia shop. According to police, Mr. Simpson said, "Hey, that's my signature O..J Simpson. So it belongs to me."
According to a young police officer, "Mr. Simpson was reportedly a football player in the National Football League way back in the 1980s or something. Then he was involved in some murder trial back in the 1990s. We really don't know what he does now."